Life Lessons Learned in 2023

Just when I thought 2022 had thrown all it could at me, here came 2023 with a super-charged left hook! The year started off with consecutive bad news - from personal tragedies, to unforeseen health disasters, to professional setbacks, it really felt like I was drowning. In the ocean. Surrounded by sharks.

Maybe it was all bad luck, but life just kept throwing curveball after curveball, and man am I bad at sports! Despite all the incoming hits, I persevered. I kept telling myself that if this was rock bottom, then there was nowhere else to go but up.

Looking back at this past year, it is safe to say that my work life took a back seat. I hit pause in many aspects of my job simply because I had to. Even without comparing myself to my peers, I was falling behind in my own aspirations, in where I had envisioned myself to be. What I had hoped to become by now. 

'No' Is A Full Sentence

This is my biggest takeaway. It doesn't matter what the situation is, saying 'No' is reason enough.

Be it a relationship, job, or situation, a lot of the times it is human nature to want to please others, even when we're uncomfortable or unsure. This can inadvertently turn into a string of over-commitments that will eat into your personal well-being. For me, it was when I experienced a direct change in management.

I pride myself on having great working relationships. This is probably the extrovert part of me speaking, but I thrive in collaborative environments and I enjoy exchanging ideas and being in the thick of discussions. So, when my new manager joined, let's just say we didn't get off to a good start. There were so many disagreements and push backs. Months and months of trying to convince each other on how best to do the other person's job. The power struggle was real, and I realised that I had to learn to say no. And I had to say it in a sincere, professional way in order to maintain my sanity and my peace.

Since acquiring this skill, things have become more positive. We could disagree and come to a consensus. We could the share about the challenges of the task, and leave feeling heard and understood. The best thing about this? By learning to say no without having to provide elaborate explanations actually grooms the working relationship. It allows for trust to develop on both ends, and provides me with a greater sense of autonomy. 

To me, work-life balance never really held much power, or promise. It was simply corporate jargon used by HR execs to showcase a company's supportive work culture. However, 2023 definitely taught me some hard lessons about this concept, and the importance of always striving towards this equilibrium.

Make Health A Priority

We've all heard about how Health Is Wealth. But to me, 2023 underscored just how important it is to be healthy - physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Not to delve into the specifics, all you need to know is that I spent a good part of the year hospital-hopping. Fighting not just physical pain (and I was in constant pain), I had to put on a strong front at home and at work. I had a paralyzing fear that if people knew how much I suffered, they would think me weak. Like I wasn't a good enough mother or a valuable employee, so to compensate for this, I tried to prove my worth.

But this fear was misplaced. Instead, it was only after I started talking about my condition with my friends, family, and colleagues, and how the mental strain of it infected every aspect of my personal and professional life, that I realised how much I needed their positivity and words or encouragement to nurse me back to health. While the physical part took a while to heal, I was surprised at how infinitely lighter and more hopeful I felt. 

Compassionate Leaders Are Everything

When you think of the 'leaders' in your life, what are some of the qualities they possess? Are they visionary? Focused? Driven? Reliable?

To me, 2023 has opened my eyes to the best type of leader - the compassionate one. These are the leaders who recognize that their subordinates are people first, employees second. You see, I have been working since I was 16, in various sectors and under different types of management. So, believe me when I say, competent leaders are great, but compassionate leaders are everything. And here are my three main reasons why:

1. They facilitate better conflict resolution. 
Compassionate leaders are better equipped to handle conflicts with empathy and understanding. Their compassionate mindset enables them to listen sincerely, and in the process build trust and arrive at a swifter resolution.

2. They promote job satisfaction.

I have never felt more invested in the company’s success than when I am satisfied with my job. While everyone's job satisfaction is determined differently, mine stemmed from how compassionate my leader was to me.  Did they go out of their way to ensure my well-being was a priority? Did they take the time to check-in about workloads instead of deadlines? Did they navigate difficult situations justly and with empathy?

3. They foster healthy working relationships.

A compassionate leader puts the well-being of their subordinates before work. This is not to say they are heedless about work responsibilities. They just have a higher EQ, making them approachable and trustworthy, and leading to a greater likelihood of trusting in the leader's decisions and guidance. When you have a team that supports one another through open communication, respect, and mutual understanding, it makes for a positive and healthy working environment.

Cultivate An Attitude Of Gratitude

Gratefulness is acknowledging the goodness in one's life.

Life is messy. Life is unpredictable. The only way to go through life without losing yourself is to be grateful. For the good and the bad. You know how they say every cloud has a silver lining? Well, 2023 gave me some of my toughest battles, and I will admit, I struggled to find the silver linings.

But instead of allowing myself to wallow in self-pity and resentment, I tried seeing the goodness in every situation. Slowly, I cultivated a habit of always thinking about how each situation has a lesson to teach me. This greatly strengthened my mental resilience and reduced my anxiety because I knew that ultimately, something good would come out of it. And it is this hope that makes facing each day a little less frightening. 

To be grateful is to be mindful of your blessings.